Not giving a F*ck.

A couple years ago, I purchased the book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' because I knew that I gave way too much f*cks about EVERYTHING. I cared what people thought all the time. I was conscious about this which I why I bought this book in hope that it would give me some kind of epiphany about how short my life is and why giving a f*ck is a waste of time. I stopped reading the book around half way through for unknown reasons and its just been sat on a bookshelf ever since.

Yesterday, Tyler and I started listening to it and I truly forgot how good this book was and how good it made me feel. So many things he talks about relates to me completely; for example, he talks about moments when you get annoyed at yourself for BEING annoyed at yourself. That is so me with every negative emotion. I get stuck in a 'negative feedback loop' where I get mad at myself for feeling mad.😂

I subconsciously gave a f*ck about everything for some reason and it only recently hit me how damaging this was for my mental health. I gave a f*ck about what everyone thought; whether that was pissing someone off for being a learner driver, or having a hole in my jumper or giving the wrong answer in class or stuttering when talking to someone...I would literally be exhausting my mind by giving a f*ck all the damn time.

Life is too short to care what anyone thinks. We're all just evolved apes on this piece of rock in a vast universe just living our best lives like any other animal - so why would you ruin it by valuing someone's opinion above your own?

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

– Steve Jobs

It's truly impossible to not give a f*ck about anything; some things you have to give a f*ck about. Whether that's your job, your family, your social life, your time and money or your partner, some things you have to care about because otherwise...what's the point? But some things you should really, REALLY not care about is what other people think about you, whether or not other people like you and whether or not other people approve of your decisions. This is your life and your life only, if you constantly care about the opinions of other people then you will never be satisfied with yourself in any context and your comfort zone will shrink until the most simple tasks become daunting - and I would know because I've experienced this first-hand. You will deprive yourself of opportunities and experiences because fear of rejection is holding you back.

I love this Mark Twain quote; 'twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.' Every-time you feel yourself feeling reluctant to do something, count to five and just do it - what is the worst that can happen?!

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

– George Carlin

I'm still in the process of learning not to give a f*ck. It's hard and it will take some time, but the more you put yourself into situations that scare you, the less of a f*ck you will give. You've got to pretend you don't give a f*ck by saying you don't give f*ck until you genuinely don't give a f*ck. Focus on yourself by giving caring about things that actually matter to you. Like Cher says, "if it doesn't matter in five years, it doesn't matter".

Love, Sophie🐻

Mark Manson - 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'

https://amzn.to/2GN2i0H